I used to be pretty good at manipulating people to get what I wanted or to make myself look more honorable than I really was. Fortunately for me, God allowed a strong, no-nonsense man to fall in love with me, and that man refused to be manipulated. I’ll be honest: It hurt. And it made me angry. In order to have a worthwhile marriage, I had to learn new ways to communicate–healthy ways that honored God and respected the people around me. It took a long time to break bad habits and to build new ones.

Because I was so good at manipulating others, I can recognize a manipulator from a mile away. I can hear how they twist words and I can see how they live with strings attached to a million different things. It makes me sad. And it makes me angry. Life’s too short to play this game. People are too precious. If we really want to get better, we’ve got to make better choices. We can start by calling ourselves what we are: broken, hurting, selfish people who have been redeemed by Jesus. We can then commit to doing what is right instead of what is easy. It really is up to us. And, the changes are worth making.


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