I am struggling with a case of the gloomies today.
One of the reasons is that I am watching the weeds as they threaten to suffocate the vegetable plants in my beloved gardens. It’s just too muddy to get in there to pull them out.
We also have rabbits eating our cucumber and cantaloupe plants. Do you want to know how many cantaloupe plants survived this particular pestilential onslaught last year? Three. Out of seventy. I am not willing to sacrifice this year’s sweet melons to wascally wabbits. The problem is that I loathe shooting bunnies. I know there are other options, but none of them are as permanent as a bullet. (Sorry, bunny lovers. I understand your sorrow. Honest. But I want cantaloupe!!) So, I procrastinate on the only true solution with the hope that all of the Country Haven will re-settle somewhere else. Soon.
Another bit of heartache is that people I love are hurting…which makes me hurt. I pray and offer encouragement and pray some more. Even though I know that prayer is a powerful weapon, I still feel a little bit useless as I watch these beautiful folks fight their battles. I find myself wanting to fix their situations, and I cannot. To be honest, I’m not even sure what I would do to fix things–which is a great reason to pray that God will do the fixing. Still, I hurt as I watch the struggle.
Then, there’s the burden of being up against some nebulous accusation of wrongdoing that has apparently terminated a friendship. I have no idea what I did, and I have no idea how to repair the damage. What in the world does a body do with that? Ugh.
As I was sitting on the front porch with my coffee, my Bible and my journal this morning, I felt the heaviness of the above situations. I watched the great blue heron glide overhead, and I observed the ruby-throated hummingbirds flit from bloom to bloom. I listened to the melody of the meadowlark on the fence post and smiled at the bubbling call of the bobolink.
Why am I worried? Do I really think that the God Who created heaven and earth is not capable of carrying my load? Am I really allowing the cares of this imperfect world to steal the joy that God has placed in my spirit?
He hears me. He knows me. He will take care of me.
It is up to me to put my trust in Him and to find joy in this journey.