One of the fantastic things about living with my family is that they’re funny. Plus, I’m funny, so we laugh a lot. The following story is from a couple of years ago, and I ran across it this morning. I hope it makes you smile.
For years, I have offered to pack my husband’s lunch for him. He has access to a refrigerator, microwave and break room where he can eat. He has repeatedly declined my offers. He prefers to eat peanuts or potato sticks or weird random things he finds on clearance at the grocery store. He will even occasionally go to a deli and order two slices of bologna and buy a bag of hamburger buns for his lunch. Because he wastes virtually nothing, he brings the leftover buns home or goes back… and orders two slices of ham the next day and the next day and so on. This money does not come out of our grocery budget, but out of his own personal “fun money”. (What is wrong with this man?!)
As I prepare supper tonight, he acknowledges (for reasons better left unshared) that he had beans for lunch. I ask him where he ate, thinking it VERY strange that he spent money at a restaurant that would serve baked beans on his lunch hour. HE ATE THEM OUT OF CAN, PEOPLE!!! He bought an el cheap-o can of pork & beans and ATE THEM COLD OUT OF A CAN FOR HIS LUNCH!!
After staring at him in slack-jawed wonder for a moment, I said, “Do you understand that this hurts my heart–that you would rather eat cold pork & beans out of a can than have me pack a lunch for you?”
My husband replied, “I’m sorry.”
I said, “I don’t think you are.”
He said, “I’m sorry that your heart hurts. (pause) But I’m not sorry I ate the cold pork & beans.”
Our ten-year-old son exploded into laughter in the background while I silently apologized to his future wife. I tried. Really I did.